Already on the wrong side of the bed after finally overcoming a bit of insomnia when I’m woken up by a little beepbloop eBay message, “Hey wheres my item, did you even send it?” how about yes, I sent it you fuckin bitch, the check is in the mail as my good old friend Jack Burton always says at a time like this, and why don’t you blow my dick into the setting sun and wear a top hat while you fucking do it for good measure, you fucking cunt?

I am not awoken from slumbers in friendly fashion. I might rip your head off.